Worried about being shot in the face? Try my Face Protection Spray.
posted by
1970s Abraham Lincoln
posted
5/22/2008 2:09:22 PM
I'm 1970s Abraham Lincoln, and yes, it really is impossible to shoot me in the face*. Being shot in the face is one of the fastest growing crimes in America, victimizing over 500 million people a year and costing billions of dollars. So why do I say it's impossible to shoot me in the face? Because I’m absolutely confident that Face Protection Spraytm is protecting my face, just like it will yours. And we guarantee our service up to $1 million dollars**."
Not convinced? Our Face Protection Spraytm has been endorsed by Top Consumer Reviews dot com, which uses the same font as Consumer Reports:
And if Top Consumer Reviews dot com wasn't as reliable as Consumer Reports, they couldn't use the same font, could they?
* Not impossible to shoot me in the face
** We do not guarantee our service for up to $1 million dollars
Tags: schadenfreude
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